Jonny Kilbane

Photo credit; Kourosh Keshiri

It is hard to believe that last year marked the 21st anniversary of Naomi Klein’s anti-globalisation manifesto ‘No Logo’. The seminal tome has since been translated into 30 languages and Time magazine chose it as one of the Top 100 Non-Fiction books ever published. Klein followed it with her treatise on the rise of disaster capitalism ‘The Shock Doctrine’ in 2007. It too garnered wide-spread acclaim and worldwide success. Her move into environmentalism came with the release of ‘This Changes Everything’, a damning indictment of the havoc capitalism has wreaked on the natural world and the urgent changes needed to be taken to mitigate its’ worst effects. Her climate activism has continued with ‘On Fire;a Burning Case for a Green New Deal’ which was released in 2019 and has also became an instant New York Times best-seller.

It’s not hard to see how Klein’s passion for social justice was nurtured. Born in Montreal to two ‘sixties radicals’, both of whom moved to Canada from America to evade her father’s conscription in the Vietnam War. Her mother was a second-wave feminist, best known for her anti-pornography movie “Not a Love Story”. Despite a natural adolescent resistance to parental values, over time she found herself becoming more receptive to their ideologies. “Just because we find some activism cringey doesn’t mean we get to tune it out. That’s a terrible reason to let the world burn” she jokingly said in a recent interview (Channel 4, 2019).

Klein attended the University of Toronto, where she studied philosophy and literature and moved into professional journalism before graduating, but has since received multiple honorary degrees. Alongside her books she is also an award-winning journalist and media commentator. She consistently ranks as one of the world’s top intellectuals and thinkers. Prospect Magazine have named her as one of the top 100 public intellectuals in the world.

Klein has won recognition for her work from far afield, including the Sydney Peace Foundation in 2016 amongst countless other awards. She is also a university lecturer and is currently the Gloria Steinem Chair in Media, Culture and Feminist Studies at Rutgers University, New Jersey. Previously she had been a Miliband fellow lecturer at the London School of Economics.

Naomi Klein has become known for her unflinching resolve in tackling social injustice and her fearlessness in holding corrupt individuals and organisations to account. She has long exposed politicians and their skullduggery, which is of course one of the principal tenets of the journalistic profession. Klein and other campaigners like her, must undoubtedly be a thorn in the side of the powerful elite. The book inspired a new generations of activists, who are dubious of corporate power. However, the branded world which Klein documents in No Logo, has now grown to such influence it has infiltrated many of our lives today. A strong well-defined social media presence is now imperative in today’s digital world.

In ‘the Shock Doctrine’, Klein’s anti-establishment credentials are on full display once more with the American government and corporations the target of her ire. With remarkable courage Klein exposes the greed at the heart of the Bush administration, their moves to capitalise in the aftermath of the Hurricane Katrina disaster and of course their ill-fated invasion into Iraq. Other examples of international disaster capitalism also feature in the book. In ‘This Changes Everything’ she launches a blistering take-down of the world’s ‘green’ billionaires whose grand promises to solve the climate crisis have all but spectacularly failed (Klein, 2014).

Perhaps why Klein’s work has always been so readily accepted within different areas of activism, is the undeniable rigour and meticulousness which goes into it. “Naomi is so thorough, you just can’t fault her” says Sinead Mercier one of Ireland’s foremost climate change consultants. “She’s so rooted in the environmental movement and she has a lot of respect to build on”. Her exhaustive and robust research has left little room for climate change critics to attack her and has helped bolster her voice on a global stage.

Whilst most climate change literature is understandably eager to awaken people to the urgency of the crisis, critics have labelled many offerings as having the opposite effect of galvanising the reader to take action, due to their fatalistic tone. Naomi in her own work always leaves readers with a range of practical suggestions. Her latest book “On Fire; the burning case for a Green New Deal” is a message of climate hope and the rising political movements who are trying to change the system.

From early on in her campaigning, Klein has seen great opportunity in the climate crisis and has advocated for policy changes, which could mitigate the crisis but also help effect social change. “She really built a bridge with other movements, she connected it with other crises we’re living through, such as the pandemic and economic and social issues” says Mercier. Time and time again, Klein has faced off absurd criticism that climate change is a ‘trojan horse’ for socialism. Throughout her work she has called for the dismantling of economic models which have plundered the world’s natural resources and left humanity hanging on the edge of ecological disaster.

Klein has campaigned for newer economic models (new Green Deals) and a break-away from trickle-down economics and neoliberalism, which has brought about environmental catastrophe and bolstered economic inequality throughout the world. The new green deal she supports and the suggestions she has made over the years would see huge investment in green industries, the movement of workers from high-carbon industries to renewable ones with protections for their wages and benefits in place; millions of new unionised jobs in the green sector; low-cost, clean public transport for citizens and leaving carbon reserves throughout the world un-excavated among many other possibilities.

A cornerstone of the new green deal is the protection of indigenous communities, many of whom have seen their natural habitats ruined by fossil fuel industries. As Klein reminds us, it is the inhabitants of poorer, developing nations who have contributed the least to the crisis but who will become its’ worst victims. “Climate change discriminates, it’s unequal, it’s cruel, the people who did the least to create this crisis, the ones who have the lowest carbon footprint, will suffer the most” she reminded us in a recent Channel 4 interview (2017).

Klein has frequently spoke of climate refugees who are already seeking asylum in Western countries and these Western countries’ failure to provide them with refuge i.e Trump’s inhumane treatment of refugees trying to cross the American border. As Klein reminds us (2019) “a 2018 World Bank Study estimates that by 2050, more than 140 people in Sub- Saharam Africa, South Asia and Latin America will be displaced because of climate stresses, an estimate many consider conservative.”

In terms of impact it is hard to think of anyone who surpasses her influence as a figurehead for anti-globalisation internationally. And her influence as an environmentalist has grown exponentially in a relatively short period of time. “Apart from Greta Thunberg and David Attenbourgh, that trio of people have really kickstarted a real shift in environmentalist thinking and also urgency”, says Mercier.

“When Naomi Klein came to Dublin to give a talk, it was completely booked out”, Mercier recalls. “She spoke a lot about water charges as an example of environmental conflict and some of the audience started booing. The environmentalists were really annoyed about the water charges- they believe the people [the polluters] should pay. But Naomi was approaching it from the perspective of her work and she believes that’s what disaster capitalists do; they privatise essential goods in order to profit from them.”

Leading left-wing journalist Owen Jones has cited Naomi as one of his early inspirations; “Her writing on anti-globalisation was a real life-line for me, she was on the left, she had a platform and she was saying something new and vital.” (O’ Hagan, S - 2020)

Greta Thunberg, who unwittingly became the spearhead of the global climate movement, is also unstinting in her praise of Klein. Thunberg has named her as one of her main influences and on the inlay of Klein’s latest book says; “she is the greatest chronicler of our age of climate emergency, an inspirer of generations.” (Klein, 2019)

Klein has greatly helped to expand the conversation around climate change and inspired countless people around the world to partake in grassroots movements. As she travels around the world, such is her authority, younger women have even began to ask her whether or not they should have children, as she explained in a recent TV interview (Channel 4, 2019).

With Donald Trump leaving office there is at last some hope on the horizon for the climate movement. But in her recent work she has noted that Joe Biden was one of the few Democratic presidential candidates who failed to support a Green New Deal. Biden has at least promised to take the US back into the Paris Agreement when he enters office this month and has already selected John Kerry as his climate envoy.

It seems that her optimism has been renewed by the younger generation and Klein is now putting much of her faith in them, many of whom are now becoming voters for the first time. Her latest book ‘How to Change Everything’ (written with Rebecca Stefoff) is specially written for teenagers and is released next month.

She appears to be buoyed by the likes of Thunberg and Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, the youngest woman ever elected to US congress and who has been an ardent supporter of a ‘Green New Deal’ from the outset.

But despite the cause for some optimism, there is no denying the grim challenges which lies ahead. The global average annual temperature is 1.2˚C higher than in pre-industrial levels and scientists predict we are on track for a 3-4˚C increase over the next eighty years, thanks to our rampant use of fossil fuels (O’ Doherty C - 2021). And with global populations rapidly expanding, added pressure on our natural resources is inevitable. Developing nations such as China or India, with their fast growing middle-classes are unlikely to be keen to stymie their use of fossil fuels, which could provide another significant hurdle in slowing down climate change.

As the global pandemic continues on with no definitive end in sight, it’s looking increasingly likely the global economy will emerge severely bruised. And as history has shown, economic hardship means support for climate change invariably dips. Climate change for most people has come to be associated with an increase in their costs of living.

So is Klein fighting a losing battle, in the face of such profound obstacles? In a recent essay for the latest edition of On Fire (Klein, 2019) she seems to somehow have maintained her characteristic optimism and re-affirms her long-held stance of finding opportunity, even now with the added complexity of the pandemic added to the crisis. “There is no returning to where we were before the crisis hit. It could be a lot worse, clearly. But it could also be significantly better”, she writes. “The outcome will depend on what we choose to carry with us - and what we are willing to leave behind.”

Print Citations

Klein, N (2014) This Changes Everything The Climate Vs Capitalism, United Kingdom, Penguin Books,

Klein, N (2019) One Fire, The Burning Case for a Green New Deal, United Kingdom, Penguin Books,

Klein, N (2007)The Shock Doctrine, United Kingdom, Penguin Books

Online Video

Channel 4 (2017) Naomi Klein on Trump, Corbyn and the global “war on affordable housing”, extended interview, July 4th. Available at www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VU2vtamOws [Accessed: 02 January 2021]

Channel 4 (2019) Naomi Klein on Extinction Rebellion, the Green New Deal and Fast Fashion, October 16th. Available at www.youtube.comwatch?v=JpFZmisvrQQ&t=2443s [Accessed: 03 January 2021]

Online Newspaper Articles

O’ Doherty, C (2021) ‘Climate change: five reasons to be cheerful and five to be fearful’ Irish Independent, January 2

O’ Hagan, S (2020) ‘A lot of people in the Parliamentary Labour party are horrible’ Guardian, September 19

Online Sources

www.naomiklein.org

Photo: BMG UK

This collection of disco stompers is the perfect antidote for these dark times, writes Jonny Harvey

When Kylie Ann Minogue took her first tentative steps into the world of music in 1987, who could’ve predicted the indelible mark she would make on the industry throughout the world? The wise money would’ve been on her releasing a few throwaway singles before quickly fading back into oblivion.

And yet here we are in 2021 and the seasoned showgirl is still in business. She may not be at the apex of her career (that was the Fever years) or have completely won over the younger streaming generation, but she is still clocking up hits and selling out arenas. Most of her eighties contemporaries are busy doing nostalgia tours in regional clubs or are simply no longer with us.

And this her 15th album debuted at no.1 in the UK late last year, which now means she is the only female artist to have number one albums in each of the last five decades. It comes off the back of her triumphant set at last year’s Glastonbury, which cemented her status as an international treasure. Kylie has put her stetsons from her no 1, country influenced album ‘Golden’ into storage and is now heading straight back to her most natural habitat - the dancefloor (a disco dancefloor to be precise).

Ironically an album which pays homage to a genre so rooted in club culture was actually recorded during lockdown. Kylie did a crash course in audio engineering and recorded her own vocals at home. The Minogue gumption won through again.

She is listed as a co-writer on every track here and leads an army of songwriters and producers who can be split roughly into two camps; Sky Adams - (Sigala, Will Young) and Teemu Brunila (Jason Derulo, David Guetta). And it’s to her credit that despite the many collaborators, the sessions still resulted in a such cohesive body of work.

This however isn’t a pure retro throwback; it’s rooted in seventies disco but is glazed with a modern sheen. Kylie the great musical adventurer, has always shown a canny knack for maintaining her own DNA, irrespective of what styles she’s experimenting with. On ‘Disco’, she is not subsumed by the genre and neither does it feel like tongue-in cheek pastiche. She pulls it off with her own stamp firmly placed on top - light-hearted, warm and sincere.

The lead track ‘Magic’ is a joyous, horn-fuelled romp, which echoes Earth Wind and Fire. Thankfully a ‘less is more’ approach is taken here and the song is all the better for it. Kylie’s breathy, sultry vocals shimmer on ‘Miss A Thing’ - a retro-smooth gem with lashings of staccato strings. ‘Real Groove’ with its strutting bassline and handclaps wouldn’t sound out of place on a Daft Punk record. The lead single ‘Say Something’ with its crunchy bassline, Bowie-esque guitar and timely lyrics “(can we all be as one again)” is a sublime piece of songwriting and one of the best of last year.

But there are a few mis-steps made along the way. ‘Last Chance’ skirts a little too close melodically to Abba’s ‘Voulez Vous’ but is still a hoot nonetheless. ‘Monday Blues’ with its Latin arrangement, might feel a bit too ‘relatives doing a conga line at a family wedding’ for some. But quite frankly, these are minor quibbles.

Whilst her detractors have long pointed to her vocals as the Aussie singer’s weakness, the fact remains that when it comes to the job of being a pop star, there are few who can do it better. Kylie has a talent for the role, that many of her peers with far superior musical chops simply do not possess. Minogue has learnt her craft well and this is evident throughout. ‘Disco’ is a pop music masterclass.

Photo credit; Owen Jones

Over the last decade Owen Jones has experienced a swift ascent to become arguably the most popular and prominent left-wing voice in Britain. In those quarters he has been celebrated as the poster-boy for progressive and socially-conscious values. Through his columns, books and broadcasting he has championed the cause of the working class, minority groups and women. He is a staunch remainer and has consistently criticised the grave inequalities he sees as existing in Britain today.

But his outspoken views and high profile platform have attracted much rancour from those on the opposing end of the political spectrum. Last year he was the victim of a pre-meditated attack by three men outside a pub in North London. All three have since been arrested and one was sentenced to jail earlier this year.

To say political socialism is in his blood is an understatement. Jones was born in Sheffield at the height of the miner’s strike of 1984, for which his dad was an organiser. His parents had met through Trotskysim; “they were in the militant group in the Labour Party in the eighties”. His grandmother was a labour councillor, his great grand-dad was in the General Strike of 1926. “Obviously the long tradition has had an impact”, he laughs.

He grew up in Stockport surrounded by peers who led impoverished lives. “One of my friends used to wear their uniform on the weekend” he tells me. He attended state school throughout his youth and won a place at Oxford to read history. “From my primary school, I was the only boy to go to university” he says.

His development years gave him a front row seat to the stark inequalities of class in Britain, having experienced life at polar ends of the spectrum. This unique trajectory served as the perfect combination to create a political journalist and activist.

“That collision of growing up in a family on the left, and around people whose lives were very difficult and then going to Oxford and meeting people whose lives were the opposite. I had never met anyone from a private school before I was eighteen”.

After graduation he worked in parliament for Labour MP John McDonald handling civil liberties, workers rights and pay issues. But this role didn’t sate Jones’ desire to effect change in the world and have his own voice heard. The answer to his problem came in the form of writing or to be more precise, political blogging. “I wanted to draw attention to the issues and injustices I care about in the world, it wasn’t cause I enjoyed writing” he insists. It was his political blog which attracted the attention of the Guardian, who he has now written for, for almost a decade.

Despite widespread assumptions that political types likes Jones having been coached and cajoled by their parents to follow such paths, he is quick to clarify the matter. “My parents actually wanted to steer me away from politics cause they felt my dad had given up his life to do that and maybe wished he’d done something else. So if I had a rebellion it was against their sense of defeatism”.

His first book ‘Chavs; the Demonization of the Working Class’ was published in 2011 and followed in 2014, by ‘the Establishment and how they get away with it.’ Both have been met with widespread acclaim. His latest book released in September ‘This Land; the Story of a Movement’ recounts the rise and fall of Jeremy Corbyn’s time as leader of the Labour party.

The subject of his latest book leads me nicely on to the subject of his sources. As a well-known left-wing journalist and activist, Jones has been met with accusations that his proximity to Labour politicians and other officials and academics must influence his writing.

According to Holcomb et al (P. 326, 2018) journalists and politicians are interdependent and journalists often become a part of a politician’s inner circle. In Blumell’s research (P. 269, 2018), the article finds that journalists have become over-reliant on government sources. They might be more credible and important than some other sources but the information they offer can result in politicians having an undue influence on the news producing process.

Living in London and working in the media, an industry which is for the most part only accessible to a privileged few, how does he now expose himself to a diverse range of sources? Is he in danger of becoming too close to the establishment he has rallied so hard against in the past?

These are accusations he strongly refutes. “In my latest book ‘This Land’ about the political tumult of the last few years, I started from the basis of ‘I’m not going to exclude anything because it’s uncomfortable for people I’m close to’. Lots of my friends were at the heart of the Corbyn project and they weren’t happy with what I wrote. But it was the truth as I saw it, so I had to write it.”

“The difference between me and my colleagues is that I don’t pretend not to be opinionated”, he continues “The contract I have with the reader is, I’m a socialist and I look at the world with a socialist outlook. As long as I don’t try to pretend other-wise.”

On the issue of the insularity of the British media he is keen to distance himself from any suspicions that he may be privy to it.

Gaber (2009) illustrates the perils of ‘pack journalism’ with his example of the Westminster lobby and the expense scandal. The fostering of this mentality can lead to journalists failing to fulfil their roles. Gaber includes quotes from a number of political correspondents in his article who also agree that the ‘club atmosphere’ in Westminster between journalists played a significant factor in their failure to expose the expenses scandal to the public. Has Jones himself joined the ‘club’ and unwittingly allowed his work to become biased, I ask?

Firstly, he reminds me that whilst he works for the Guardian, he does the vast majority of his writing from home. “I try to engage in arguments which are strongly against my own. I interview people who very much don’t have my opinions’. He has interviewed Jacob Rees Moggs back in 2015 and even his arch enemy Piers Morgan, among many other right-wing/conservative figures.

He also points out how overwhelmingly right-wing the British media are. “I mean if you’re on the left and in the media you can’t live in an echo chamber. I’m in an industry which is so fundamentally, politically, hostile to everything I believe in. With the other political journalists I know, we all disagree with each other all the time and we kind relish of that.”

When I raise the matter of the increasing influence of PR on journalism, he characteristically has a clear take on the issue and where he stands in relation to it. “It’s a real threat to the industry”, he admits. “Time pressured journalists are starting to re-write PR stuff as copy for newspapers. It’s obviously something I try to avoid cause I have an ideological objection to it. It allows private interests to put stuff in the press that’s propaganda basically.” PR people in the political sphere haven’t posed a problem for him when he has tried to interview politicians thankfully. “I’ve been very lucky to get access to lots of people”, he remarks.

He is however much more positive about the rise of the political blogger. “I started as one so it would be hypocritical if I didn’t acknowledge it. It’s a great way for people who don’t have a voice to be heard. It’s so hard to get into the media, expensive postgraduate qualifications and unpaid internships. Blogging really helps with diversity. I want more women, people of colour, working class people to have a voice; blogging is a way of allowing that to happen”.

Nearing the end of the interview I observe that despite the threats facing his work, he remains unflinching in his voice and resolute in his views. The calamitous defeat of Labour in last year’s General Election and the continuing vitriol he experiences from the far right, don’t seem to have dented his optimism. I notice that when he speaks of his hopes for change, his face registers a flash of optimism. I hope he can hold onto it for a long time to come.

Citations

• Twitter Makes It Worse: Political Journalists, Gendered Echo Chambers, and the Amplification of Gender Bias, Nikki Usher, Jesse Holcomb, and Justin Littman, The International Journal of Press/Politics Vol. 23(3) 324–344, (2018)

• The slow death of the Westminster Lobby: Collateral damage from the MPs’ expenses scandal, Ivor Gaber, Bedfordshire University and City University London (2009)

• She Persisted ... and so did He - Gendered source use during the Trump Access Hollywood scandal, Lindsey E. Blumell, Routledge, Taylor and Francis Group (2019)

Bibliography

• Chavs: the Demonisation of the Working Classes, Owen Jones, Verso Book, (2011)
• The Establishment and how they get away with it, Owen Jones, Penguin, (2015)
• This land, the struggle for the left, Owen Jones, Allen Lane, (2020)

Photo Credit; Dey Street Books

“It will be fun. And if you hate it, at least it will be short.” Those were the words of Katy Tur’s colleague when she first accepted a reporter role for the Trump campaign in early summer 2015. A sentiment widely shared by the media and political establishment, who viewed the billionaire’s bid for presidency as nothing short of a joke. Even until late on election night, reporters had written articles and filmed broadcast reports in anticipation of a Clinton victory, such was their certainty of the outcome. Trump himself made the unusual choice of the relatively small Manhattan Hilton hotel for his election night venue, which also pointed towards an expected loss on his own part.

Throughout the whole of the eighteen month campaign, this on-the-ground NBC reporter had a front row seat to all his bizarre antics. Tur follows him to forty states and files 3800 live broadcasts in the process. She witnesses firsthand the horrifying spectacles that were his campaign rallies, which debased American politics like no other. And here in this startling account, she shares how he confounded all expectations and pulled off one of the greatest upsets in US political history (and how she herself survived her time in Trumpland).

The billionaire’s long history of belittling comments and harassment of women have been well documented over the years and we don’t have to wait long before they make an appearance on these pages. As Tur begins to fact-check his myriad falsehoods and to call him out on them, she herself becomes a target for his frustrations. His behaviour alternates between attempts to charm her and then labelling her as ‘third rate’, ‘not nice’ and ‘disgraceful’ publicly. He singles her out at rallies to his thousands of followers and gives her the patronising moniker ‘little Katy’. In the midst an interview, when Trump doesn’t like Tur’s line of questioning he tells her to ‘be quiet’.

But his unsubstantiated attacks and his despicable treatment of this highly-respected reporter doesn’t end there. As the campaign builds momentum, Tur’s profile grows exponentially and she becomes more recognisable to his supporters. Death threats are sent to her workplace. Trump continues to stoke the hostility towards the press by making them a target at rallies, where she and her colleagues are kept in pens. With his encouragement she is subjected to the deafening boos and taunts from entire venues filled with his supporters. Security now have to step in to stop his rabid and at times violent followers from getting to her. The atmosphere becomes so volatile, she is soon assigned private service agents at all of them. At one rally where Clinton is mentioned, one supporter shouts ‘Assassinate the bitch” to which the crowd roars in unison.

It would also appear that sexism is rife amongst Trump staffers. One of his campaign managers is accused of assault by another female reporter and despite substantial evidence (pictures and witness reports) Trump stands by him. Two weeks later the campaign manger is arrested and charged. And once again Trump stands by him. When a male campaign manager is asked to confirm a story of Trump sending a political rival towels he responds to Tur; “I’m sure you get all sweaty sometimes too.”

She is however balanced in her depiction of Trump supporters and portrays them as multi-faceted individuals in the book (it would be wholly understandable if she wasn’t so magnanimous). She attempts to understand their viewpoints and why Trump resonates so deeply with them. “Nothing short of Trump shooting my daughter and grandchildren can dissuade me from voting from him” one supporter tells her colleague.

As the assignment grows ever more demanding Tur splits with her boyfriend and has to move country. She survives on a diet of hotel and airport food. Her sartorial habits start to deteriorate ‘Over the months high heels and pressed shirts give way to flats and tees’. The job consumes her every waking moment as she tries to stay up-to-date with Trump’s never-ending stream of lies and gaffes.

Hitherto Trump launched his presidential bid, behaviour of this ilk was unheard of in the political sphere, if not wider society. And whilst it is still considered unacceptable by most people’s standards, Trump has undeniably awoken a dark undercurrent in American society with his sexist and racist rhetoric.

To endanger a female reporter’s life and to have her subjected to this level of abuse is immoral and reprehensible. And for the instigator to be a man standing for the highest office in the land, is staggering.

As the author Nikki Usher highlights in her comprehensive research on journalists and their relationship with social media, men are much more popular and prolific on Twitter than their female counterparts. She points to the extreme online trolling faced by many women on the platform as an explanation for this disparity. No constructive criticism on Tur’s work is offered by online trolls, just sexist and appearance-based insults.

There are also parallels with former editor of the New York Times Jill Abramson and her account of her time in the role from her book Merchants of Truth. She notes how much of the criticism levelled against her from colleagues is gendered. Her personality was scrutinised whilst the quality of her work was overlooked. Of course it’s hard to imagine a male reporter having to contend with such abuse.

Whilst we all know most of the key developments along the way and how the story concludes, ‘Unbelievable’ still serves up plenty of startling details and ultimately proves to be a compelling read. Tur’s writing is sharp and funny and the narrative is engaging and entertaining. She has a casual writing style and a relaxed tone for a book which could’ve easily strayed into occasional bitterness. The alternating timeline between election night and the ongoing campaign coverage might not be to everyone’s taste, but that is a minor quibble. This a powerful and necessary first-hand account of the challenges women are still facing in our patriarchal society and online world.

Photo Credit- Mike Petrucci

As more major retailers collapsed this month, what exactly does this mean for the future of Ireland’s towns and cities?

By most people’s standards, 2020 has been a bloodbath on our high-streets and in our shopping centres. Whilst it has undeniably been a tough year for all businesses across the country, it was still remarkable how quickly so many major retailers became casualties of Corona. Richard Guiney, chief executive of Dublin Town told DCU news; “Retail was in retreat before Covid; Covid has really just accelerated the process.”

The casualties this year alone makes for gloomy reading; Debenhams, House of Fraser, Cath Kidson, Monsoon, Accessorize, Warehouse, Oasis and Arcadia shops including Topshop, Topman, Dorothy Perkins, Burton and Miss Selfridge. The iconic Topshop on Oxford Circus in London, the jewel in Arcadia’s crown was this week put up for sale. Back over on this side of the pond Mandate, the shopworker’s union has stated that as a result of Arcadia’s collapse, over 900 of their employees are likely to be left unemployed.

It is hard to believe that when Topshop opened on St Stephen’s Green in the mid-noughties, the brand was an unstoppable force. Customers would queue outside stores to get their hands on the latest collection Kate Moss had designed with the retail giant. The brand would show at London fashion weeks and there was even much excitement over Topshop opening its first store in New York to capitalise on the brand’s growing international appeal. What a difference a decade makes?

What’s changed?

The exponential growth of fast-fashion and budget online retailers such as Mis-guided, Boo-hoo, Nasty Gal and Prettylittlething definitely played a significant role in the demise of Topshop. As smartphones became ubiquitous over the last decade, trips to the shops became an un-necessary journey. These well designed sites, constantly updated with new and exciting clothes and at a budget price proved to be an intoxicating mix for Topshop’s demographic - all of which could be accessed on your smartphone. With the rise of social media and the omnipresent selfie, lots of new outfits were needed for younger people’s social media feeds. These online retailer’s understood their modern consumer brilliantly and developed their business model with them at the core.

Topshop also couldn’t compete with other high-street stalwarts such as H&M or Zara, both of whom have a lower price point. Topshop also couldn’t match the European retailers’ speed at creating new designs and getting them into shops. These fast-fashion strategies helps to really engage the limited attention spans of Gen-Zers and Millennials.

Brexit has also played a significant role in a number of the British retailers choosing to close their Irish businesses. Richard Guiney tells me; “[The multinationals] had reduced distribution costs for their Irish operations as part of the EU. They linked the Irish market to Wales and North-West England. They had these enormous warehouses in North Wales shipping stock over to Dublin every morning at 5am. Without EU regulation, it’s trickier and more expensive to do”.

The unstoppable growth of Amazon which has been boosted further by more people shopping online during the pandemic has eaten significantly into traditional retailer’s market share. Amazon has said that it has hired 400,000 people internationally since the start of 2020 and its workforce has now grown to 1.2 million overall. In the third quarter of this year Amazon’s sales have tripled. Manchester based online retailer the Hut Group has also this year posted record profits, bolstered again by the increase in online shopping during the pandemic. As we all know by now; if you know what you want, it’s cheaper to get it online from a warehouse somewhere rather than buying it in a shop with the additional costs added to it.

But there are also other factors which are playing a part in the downfall of our high-streets. As Duncan Graham managing director of industry lobby group Retail Excellence says; “people are buying more experiences, they’re buying more leisure, they want to purchase less material goods than in perhaps previous decades.” Richard Guiney corroborates this; “our research has shown that pre-covid more people were dining in Dublin than shopping and that has been the trend for a number of years now”. Dublin Town’s research also found that people were slowly falling out of love with the cloned high street- the same offering in every high street and shopping centre.

As Damien O’ Reilly Lecturer of Retail Management at Technological University Dublin says; ”stores like House of Fraser and Debenhams have been very vulnerable for some time now. Most of their stock can be purchased online from other retailers. They just didn’t have any offering which was uniquely theirs. In recent times the budget and luxury retailers have thrived. It’s the middle-man stores which have been completely hollowed out”.

As Duncan Graham sternly reminds me; “retail really is survival of the fittest. If you can’t change with the market, you die.”

The Future

Graham unfortunately expects more gloom on the horizon in 2021: “there are likely to be more store closures over the next few months. The rents are just too high. There needs to be more attractive deals for retailers to set-up pop-up shops on six month leases perhaps.”

As the number of empty units in Dublin City’s centre continue to increase, concern among retailers and landlords is growing. The enormous empty units left behind by Debenhams in Henry St and Blanchardstown shopping centre are especially hard to ignore. As Guiney tells me; “if we end up with a vacancy rate of 20-25%, we are in deep, deep trouble. The place would feel dead. Not everywhere can be a restaurant.” In a recent interview Duncan Graham has stated that he is holding out some hope for German retailers coming to Ireland and filling some of the empty shops.

And what might become of towns and cities if these commercial spaces can’t be filled? Damien O’ Reilly tells me “we have to use upper stories in building for residential use and look at putting more leisure and cultural activities within the core commercial districts.”

And what can the traditional bricks and mortar retailers do to avoid the same fate as Debenhams and Arcadia and thrive in the future? Graham has strong ideas as to how retail needs to evolve; “retail needs to become experiential, they need to invest more in store theatre. I think there will be a return to what was going out of fashion when I was young, with shop staff becoming more professional and knowledgeable about the products they are selling. There needs to be more professionalisation within retail”.

And with the country back in another lock-down and with all non-essential retailers shut again for the foreseeable future, there is still some distance to go before retail resumes business as usual. People within the industry are wondering that even with the arrival of the vaccine, will 2020 have changed consumer behaviour for good? But inspite of all the many challenges and the gloomy outlook facing retail, Guiney still believes that traditional retail will hold firm. “I don’t buy the theory that online will completely displace retail. There will always be a strong retail offering. It won’t dominate in the way it did in the late 20th century but it will still be a core feature.”

January 2021

In honour of HRH’s 60th birthday, I have compiled 60 of my favourite Madge stories from over the years.

Music

1. On the first day of sessions for ‘Bedtime Stories’, Marius De Vries spotted a petite woman in the corner of the recording studio, who he assumed to be the cleaner. Turns out ‘the cleaner’ was the great lady herself, which he didn’t realise until half an hour later. Luckily Madge found the whole misunderstanding quite amusing and they became long-term collaborators.

2. When Madonna met Billy Steinberg (‘Like a Virgin’ co-writer) for the first time, he introduced himself by saying “I’ve wanted to meet you for so long”, to which Madge responded “now you have” and quickly walked away. Maybe Madge was secretly pissed she hadn’t written one of her signature hits herself. Or maybe she just really needed the loo.

3. Billy Steinberg said in a 2006 interview that he submitted other songs to Madonna and tried to arrange a co-write but Madonna wasn’t interested. I don’t know about you, but I’m kinda getting the feeling HRH is not keen on this guy.

4. La Isla Bonita was originally offered to Michael Jackson, who thankfully turned it down. All those ‘hee-hees’ and all that crotch-grabbing would have ruined it anyway.

5. It has long been rumoured the Eminem said no to working with Madonna. Madge hinted at this in a 2009 MTV interview. “I don’t think he wanted to work with me. Maybe he’s shy,” she said. Or intimadated by her greatness more like.

6. Madonna invited Bronski Beat to open for her on the Virgin Tour but lead singer Jimmy Sommerville declined the offer. Apparently he didn’t like her ‘overt heterosexuality.’ Right so.

7. Rick Nowels (Power of Goodbye co-writer) met her for the first time in Barneys New York. He introduced himself and informed her that he’d written ‘Falling Into You’ for Canadian crooner Celine Dion, to which Madge responded that she was a fan of the song! So Madge doesn’t just listen to cool, cutting edge, underground producers, she’s also partial to a bit of Celine - who would have thought it?!?

8. And that’s not where the connections end - HRH and Celine are also distant relatives. According to Canadian historical records online, they are both descended from the same 17th century French carpenter Zacharie Cloutier. Some good musical genes in that lineage then.

9. ‘Open Your Heart’ was originally called ‘Follow Your Heart’ and was intended for Cyndi Lauper. Instead Madge got it and had a no 1 US hit with it.

10. Like A Prayer originally had bongos and latin percussion according to Patrick Leonard. Thankfully this ridiculous musical idea was shelved and one of the greatest pop songs ever was saved - phew!

11. Noughties popstars Mika and Jem have co-written songs for her. Mika has a co-write on Gang Bang and Jem has a credit on Nothing Fails. You didn’t think all this greatness came entirely from one person, did you?

12. Pink was originally asked to perform with Madge and Britney at the 2003 VMA’s but was unable to. Aguilera took her place and the rest is pop culture history.

13. Legendary music supremo Chris Blackwell, who signed U2 among others, passed on Madonna. It really brings new meaning to the term ‘epic fail’, doesn’t it?

14. Randy Jackson, American idol judge was in a later line-up of The Breakfast Club, the first band Madonna joined when she moved to NYC.

15. Robbie Williams’ 2007 song ‘She’s Madonna’ was inspired by Tania Strecker (friend of Robbie Williams, her step-dad was his manager also) who was dating Guy Ritchie when he first met Madonna, but obviously he dumped her for the Queen of Pop! Ouch! (Some reports even say he dated them con-currently for quite some time).

16. Gary Barlow’s second no. 1 single ‘Love Takes Time’ is actually a song Madge wrote with long-time collaborator Shep Pettibone (the demo is on youtube). HRH has never made known her thoughts on Gazza or his version of the song.

17. Apparently when HRH and Ricky Martin recorded their duet, there was a great deal of tension in the studio. “I sit down with the producer, smoke a cigar, but she’s much more business-like”, says Ricky. There were even reports at the time that she made him cry. Oh dear.

18. But we do know for sure that Pharrell Williams made Madonna cry. “We were alone recording the album and she kept talking a lot of rubbish, so I shouted a lot of rubbish and she started crying her eyes out”, the producer has admitted. And I thought Pharrell seemed like such a gentle soul.

19. Madonna was a huge Betty Boo fan and wanted to sign her to Maverick. But Alison Clarkson’s mother was sick at the time and she was unable to accept the offer. Alison did give her a leopard print coat, which she later wore to the VMA’s though.

20. Madonna asked Liam Howlett of the Prodigy to produce the album that was to become ‘Ray of Light’. He said at the time that “he didn’t want to give his band’s sound away.” Fair enough, I suppose.

21. Madge also signed nineties teen-pop trio Cleopatra to her label. Remember them?

22. Matthew Marsden, Coronation St actor and 90’s pop star (he even duetted with Beyonce at one point) was asked to accompany Madge to the 1995 Brits but he declined the offer. You see, even superstars have to deal with rejection.

23. Abba ususally don’t let anyone sample their music. But they made an exception for Madonna after she wrote to them pleading to let her use the ‘Gimme, Gimme, Gimme’ sample and sent them a copy of ‘Hung Up’.

24. Madonna and Michael Jackson were supposed to collaborate on his track “In the Closet’ back in 1991. Due to creative differences the duet never happened and the partnership fizzled out. Shame.

25. Apparently Michael Jackson named his white cobra after her. You can’t make everyone like you, I suppose.

26. Before finding fame Madonna spray painted the words ‘Fuck’ and ‘Sex’ on her then manager Camille Barbone’s poodles. Delightful.

27. Vogue was originally only supposed to be a b-side cause Madge didn’t think it was strong enough. Thankfully common sense prevailed and the dancefloor classic was born.

Encounters

28. When Ricky Gervais met her for the first time at Live Earth in 2007, the wisecracker asked “who are you”? Madonna always one for a witty retort answered, “Paris Hilton”.

29. Even Madonna falls for thirst traps; she has said that she knew she was in love with Guy Ritchie when she saw him playing tennis shirtless.

30. Madonna arrived at her audition for Desperately Seeking Susan by taxi and asked the receptionist in the casting office to pay the fare. Apparently this attitude fitted the free-spirited nature of the character of Susan and helped her win the part.

31. Belinda Carlisle and Madonna were gym-buddies; well, sort of. They used to go the same gym in the 1980s and chat about which aerobics teachers were best.

32. Rupert Everett met Madonna for the first time when he went to dinner with her and Sean Penn. The lovebirds both nipped off to the loo together and didn’t return for quite some time later. Some restaurant toilets can be very difficult to find in fairness.

33. When Rupert invited her to a dinner party in LA in the early nineties, his dog couldn’t stop dry-humping her leg. Madge even elicits sexual reponses from animals it seems.

34. In a magazine interview in the late nineties Jennifer Lopez said that Gwyneth Paltrow couldn’t act and Madonna couldn’t sing (well tell us what you really think, why don’t you). At a millenium eve party in the Versace mansion all were in attendance. According to good ol’ Rupert, when Jenny Lo entered the room, the other two left. Miaow!

35. David Walliams and Matt Lucas both stood her up. They had been invited to dinner by her but half an hour before they were due to meet, Lady M’s PA called to inform them that she may or may not be coming to dinner. They weren’t bothered waiting to find out, so they just left.

36. Madonna met the Spice girls at their Madison Square gig in 1998 during the interval. According to her brother Christopher she remarked afterwards; “they can’t really sing, they can’t really dance and who the hell eats hot dogs between the set?” How did she not recognise Vicky Beckham’s vocal talent or Melanie Brown’s rapping skills? Nobody can spot greatness all the time I suppose.

37. The Sex book photo of Madonna eating in a pizza parlour completely starkers was not staged and actually happened in a real restaurant with real customers! Madge was subsequently thrown out of the eaterie by the outraged owner. Which you would kind of expect.

38. James Morrison labelled Madonna the rudest celebrity he has ever met. He told the Metro in 2008; “I went over and said “hello, I’m James, nice to meet you” and put my hand out to shake hands. She looked at it and said ‘and what do you do’? I told her I was a singer and she just stared at me and didn’t say anything.” Not good.

39. Whilst filming an episode of ‘Will & Grace’ she kept forgetting Eric McCormack’s name. But she did later send him flowers and a note saying “If my husband would let me, I’d tattoo your name on my arm.” You see she can be quite sweet. Occassionally.

40. Madonna briefly rented a home from Kirstie Allsopp’s parents in London. She also paid for a family trip to Africa for the Allsopps. Madge won’t be appearing on Nightmare Tenants anytime soon.

41. She went to Sacha Baron Cohen’s parent’s house for dinner and played everyone the final cut of the “Music’ video.

Movies

42. She auditioned for the Oliver Stone movie Casino but Sharon Stone got the part.

43. She also auditioned for Fame, the audition tape is on Youtube.

44. Madonna was considered for the role of Catwoman/Selina Kyle in the 1992 movie Batman Returns. The role eventually went to Michelle Pfeifer.

45. Madonna has won six worst actress Golden Rasberry awards. She has received the worst supporting actress Golden Raspberry twice. In 2000, she received the Golden Raspberry for worst actress of the century. Hey, nobody can be good at everything.

46. Alex Keshinan has said that In Bed with Madonna was filmed in black and white, not because it looked all cool and arty but because it covered up Madonna’s adult acne.

47. She was supposed to play the lead in “Music of the Heart’ but it went to that talentless under-achiever Meryl Streep instead. Whatevs.

Videos

48. Felix Howard, the little boy who appeared in the “Open Your Heart” video is now a music bigwig and has written songs for Amy Winehouse and the Sugababes.

49. David Lachappele was originally supposed to direct the video for Hung Up but they fell out. Johan Renck got the job instead.

50. In the video ‘Oh Father’ the young girl looks into her mother’s coffin only to find the corpse’s lips have been sewn shut. Apparently this was inspired by Madonna’s own experience at her own mother’s funeral.

51. Jonas Akerlund the director of the Ray of Light video travelled to New York, Los Angeles and Las Vegas to film the various footage of city life for the video. It is the only Madonna video to win Video of the Year at the MTV Video music awards.

52. ‘Cherish’ was the first music video Herb Ritts shot and it was Madonna who encouraged him to try video directing. “She kept asking me, and I said I didn’t know the first thing about moving imagery”, he said in a 1999 interview. After that Michael Jackson, Janet Jackson, Jennifer Lopez and Britney Spears all asked him to direct videos for them.

53. ‘Frozen’ the video was originally meant to be filmed in Iceland but Madge vetoed the idea. It was done in the Mojave desert instead.

Miscellaneous

54. She wraps herself in cling-film to go to sleep according to Rupert Everett. As he was her bestie around the turn of the millenium, I trust this insider information.

55. Madge stated in a 2012 interview that she’s never cooked an entire meal by herself. Apparently she can only cook rice krispy slices.

56. She was fired from Dunkin Donuts for squirting jelly at customers; okay everyone knows that story.

57. In the late nineties Madonna attended yoga classes in the Innergy centre in NW London. Madonna’s presence at the centre would cause a commotion (see what I did there) so they had to ask her to go elsewhere.

58. Arianne Phllips has been Madonna’s stylist for the last twenty years and has styled and designed her last five concert tours. She’s also received two Oscar nominations for costume work on Walk the Line and W.E.

59. HRH really doesn’t like the colour orange.

60. Madonna unbelievably does not have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. She was selected in 1990 but turned down the offer.

Tags: madonna at 60 madonnatrivia madonna queenofpop popicon

An overheard converstation served as a stark reminder of the homophobic language which still exists in our society today.

On a Monday evening in a packed Dublin gym, amidst the clattering of weights and the thrumming beat of house music, I could overhear two teeange lads talking in the background. I was just about able to ignore their chatter and stay focused on the matter at hand, when one particular comment pierced right through the maelstrom of thoughts in my mind and stopped me dead in my tracks.

“I can’t stand when people don’t re-rack their weights - it’s so gay.’

“It’s so gay. It’s so gay?!?!”

“Did I hear that correctly? No it can’t be; surely I must have imagined it,” I thought to myself.

Marriage equality certainly didn’t cancel out the discrimination of the LGBTQ community and unfortunately the use of homophobic, biphobic and transphobic language continues to be endemic within our education systems. The word ‘gay’ which has become the most common identifier of homosexual people over the last 40 years or so, has more recently been appropriated to be used as an insult akin to lame, embarrasing, or pathetic.

This derogatory use of ‘gay’ is a key part of the diet of homophobia which gay people are fed in our society. Everytime the word is used as a pejorative the seeds of shame and self-hatred are sown. The LGBTQ’s community’s lived experiences have become a synonym for what certain people believe to be bad, broken or wrong.

In 2012 research done by the University of Cambridge found that 99% of LGBTQ respondents hear these words and 84% of these students are distressed by them.

Just imagine how hard it must be for a kid who thinks they might be LGBTQ and how they are likely to internalise this message. Stonewall, the LGBTQ charity also found that schools which have higher rates of casual homophobic language, also tend to have higher rates of homophobic bullying. Mighty oaks from little acorns grow.

Studies consistently show the LGBTQ community to be disproportionately effected by mental health issues. The psychological effects of discrimination may not be immediate or obvious, but make no mistake, they are far-reaching and deeply felt.

Throughout my adolesence, I pushed the ‘gay’ issue to the very back of my mind as a coping mechanism. Conversely, my fellow classmates had an obsession with all things gay, which bordered on the pathological. Hardly any conversations occurred without some anti-gay rhetoric being spewed. The shaming was relentless. I can still remember how my skin would burn with rage every other time ‘gay’ was used as a term of derision. I knew that if I challenged it, I might unwittingly ‘out’ myself. Nonetheless I would still berate myself for my cowardice for not taking a stand. “That’s the label I will have to carry around for the rest of my life”, I used to think to myself.

Years later, I even heard ‘that’s so gay’ used in university and on a number of occassions in media companies in London. People who purported to be worldly and open-minded were also in on the act.

The defenders of this language protest that they don’t mean any harm. “Language is fluid” they argue, it evolves over time. “We’re not homophobic”, they proclaim defensively.

But what has been seemingly lost on these individuals is the very crux of the matter; the consequences of this kind of language. It is not a question of intent, it’s a question of how it lands on the other person. They’re not the ones on the receiving end and it’s not for them to decide how it is interpreted; that lies with LGBTQ people and needless to say the vast majority of us find this language deeply offensive.

For millenia gay people have been discriminated against and religions have called homosexuality an abomination. Gay relationships continue to be criminalised in 72 countries and homosexuality is punishable by death in eight countires. Arguing the use of ‘gay’ as a term of derision has no connection to a social group who have been marginalised throughout history and continue to be to this very day is absurd. Using the evolution of words as a justification for language of this ilk is both lazy and ridiculous.

The key place to confront this problem is where it began; in our schools. Minister for Education, Richard Bruton TD announced earlier this year a major review of relationship and sexuality education (RSE). LBGTQ matters is one of the key issues the minister has asked the National Council on Curriculum and Assessment to consider. LGBTQ history, relationships and sex education needs to be taught in all Irish schools, with a special focus on the importance of using appropriate language when speaking about our community and other minorities.

Discrimination against other minority groups is taken much more seriously and it is now time to treat homophobic bullying in the same way. People need to consciously reflect on the language they use and make a conscious effort to change it.

The use of ‘gay’ as a term of derision engenders homophobia and it helps to further fuel toxic gender identities. It acts as a drip-drip effect, subtly eroding LGBTQ people’s self-esteem. It demeans an entire community. As LGBTQ people continue to suffer because of who they are, homophobia in all it’s forms cannot be accepted. ‘That’s so gay’ is always pejorative, always pernicious and always homophobic. Let’s leave no doubt in the minds of the LGBTQ community that they truly are equal and valued members of society.

Photo Credit; Hannah Lim on Unsplash

“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” Charles De Gaulle

The ever growing trend for dog owners to treat their canine companions much like their fellow humans (dog hotels, dog yoga, puppocionos etc.) has been met with much disapproval from certain quarters. Many point to the increasing use of pets as human substitutes as yet another example of misplaced values in our society.

But what these critics (or boring dullards as I like to call them) fail to understand is how truly life-enhancing owning a dog can be. In an increasingly unstable world, our dogs provide comfort and security. The goodness they offer is a much needed antidote to the darkness and uncertainty of modern life. Taking pride in the welfare of your pet is an innocuous activity. And the rewards of dog ownernship for most people are immeasurable.

So much so, I think I prefer my furry friend to most the humans I know (and I think there are plenty of others who secretly do too). So without further ado, I present my case;

1. Owning a dog has been proven to decrease blood pressure and lower your heart rate. Few would disagree that the very presence of a dog in your midst has a calming effect. How many humans in your life can you say that about, eh? You might need some time on that one.
2. They live in the moment and appreciate the simpler things in life. Dogs seem to have reached a zen-like state of being, which few of us humans ever achieve (unless you decamp to India, forsake your worldly possessions and spend years trying to reach nirvana). We could all learn from their fascination and curiosity with their surroundings.
3. They force you to get out in the great outdoors and exercise on a regular basis. They can be a lifeline for older people and they help relieve depression, anxiety and isolation. Specially trained dogs help those suffering with PTSD, people with disabilities and children with autism.
4. They can’t talk- hallelujah! Praise the lord! After a day spent with motor-mouth-Michael and foghorn Fiona bashing your ears off at work, coming homes to your canine companion is a welcome relief.
5. On a superficial level, they just look effortlessly cool. Can you really think of a more stylish companion than a lovable cross- breed/cute wrinkly pug/a majestic Great Dane? And have you noticed how many fashion brands include dogs in their ad campaigns these days? Even newborn babies can’t rival puppies for all out cuteness.
6. They are big believers in the power of napping and take their sleeping regime very seriously. Wouldn’t we all be better people if we followed suit?
7. Dogs are great for spillage control. When you have a dog around, there’s no need to reach for cleaning products, the sweeping brush or mop. Your furry friend is a pro when it comes to clean-ups.
8. To provoke a deliriously happy reaction, all you have to do is give them some leftovers or dog treats. To elicit the same reaction from a human you would need to get them a flash new motor or pay off their mortgage.
9. You can hug them as much as you want and it won’t look strange.
10. Dogs have a much keener sense of smell than us humans and have been known to sniff out serious illnesses such as cancer.
11. They always look happy and pleased to see you. You never have to question their loyalty. There are no ulterior motives or judgements. Their straightforwardness compared to humans is downright refreshing.
12. And all they want in return is your love and attention (and lots of food).

I could carry on but I think the evidence is pretty conclusive; dogs are unequivocally better than humans. I rest my case.

Tags: dogs love dogs canine friendship mansbestfriend

In an increasingly uncertain world, and with the ever growing demands we face in our day-to-day lives, now more than ever we need to take solace in those few things which are constant and comforting. Lifestyle gurus are forever telling us how to practise self-care, but in truth it can differ greatly depending on the individual. For me, it means hunkering down after a long day and catching up on my favourite continuing dramas, otherwise known as the soaps.

Yes you read that correctly. I am an unashamed fan of soaps. They are definitely my TV jam. Occasionally friends or colleagues will coyly admit to watching them also but are quick to protest ‘there was nothing else on’ or ‘they’re just my guilty pleasure’.

I however will make no such apologies. You can keep your latest Netflix or HBO offering, I’d much rather catch up with the latest goings-on in Walford anyday.

And I thought it was about high time to sing the praises and extol the virtues of this, one of the more derided and looked down upon of art forms.

The main argument of the soap opera detractor is that the storylines are implausible and far - fetched. Faked deaths, extra - marital affairs, teenage pregnancies and wedding days which end in disaster are all standard soap opera fare. If Albert Square was a real place it would probably be the UK’s number one murder hotspot. The complex relationship histories and family trees of soap characters would probably leave rocket scientists scratching their heads. Most of Eastender’s residents arrive in the square relatively civilised but usually leave in an ambulance or a hearse.

But surely all these critical, pretentious bores must realise that such an assertion is completely wide of the mark and the smatterings/lashings of ridiculousness are part of the appeal. It’s a soap opera; they are inherently camp and over the top. That’s why millions of viewers and myself love them so much.

But to dismiss the soaps as purely frivolous entertainment would be grossly unfair. Over the years they have given us myriad stellar performances. In recent times, Kellie Bright’s portrayal of rape victim Linda Carter in EastEnders has been a real standout. Few would disagree that Jake Wood’s performance as Max Branning, a man teetering on the edge has made for some pretty compelling TV. When these actors have to, they can really pull it out of the bag and prove they’ve got the goods.

Not to mention confronting a number of social taboos, such as gay relationships, coping with HIV and various mental health issues. The first lesbian kiss on Brookside twenty years ago caused a media furore. Whilst I’m sure there is still some disapproval, gay characters locking lips onscreen doesn’t register a whole lot of attention nowadays. These storylines helped to create a greater awareness and understanding of these social issues.

In a world that is ever changing, where very little can be counted upon, it’s so comforting and reassuring to know that so many soap opera characters stay the same. Sally Webster is still pounding up and down the cobbles, scheming and social climbing. Norris is still stuck in the Cabin (in more ways than one). Sharon and Phil are fighting like alley cats every episode. Dot Branning is still striding around the square, resplendent with her immaculately coiffed hair, camel coat and ciggie in hand (girlfriend knows how to work a look). I think I’ve had more long-term relationships with these characters than I’ve had with people in my own life. Sad but true.

It could be said that much of the appeal of soap operas lie in people’s perverse love of drama and having a good rummage around in the lives of others. But it really doesn’t matter what crazy antics they get up to in their fictional worlds, ultimately nobody really gets hurt.

Shame the same can’t be said for reality TV, where countless bewildered and vulnerable people are wheeled out to be mentally tortured and/or humiliated in front of the nation. Who can truly comprehend the untold damage done to so many people’s emotional wellbeing and confidence as a result of these shows? Soaps are just a bit of harmless fun in comparison.

There’s no doubt the workload in soap-land must be intense. But the stability such a show provides must come as a relief to working actors. Their professional lives are marked by chronic insecurity; only 3% are working at any given time. On a practical level, soap opera work is one of the better jobs an actor can have.

So there you have it. Soaps don’t get the respect they deserve. They offer us social critique, comedy, complex multi- narratives and downright good entertainment. What sort of a world would it be without Sharon’s legendary facial expressions, Roy’s philosophical musings, Max Branning’s lothario ways, Liz McDonald’s incredible sense of style and Gail’s never ending quest to find true love? A much flatter and less colourful one, I say. Long live the soap opera!!!

Tags: soap opera pop culture sociallissues tv show entertainment televisionbritishsoaps

1. Your twenties were overrated.

2. Turning thirty wasn’t something to dread after all

3. Maybe life isn’t going to be filled with adventure, steamed ice and fireworks, as you once may have hoped - and that’s okay.

4. Your FOMO levels seriously diminish.

5. It turns out to be a relief to leave the craziness and confusion of your twenties behind.

6. Faraway hills were interesting, exciting for a time but ultimately green.

7. Teen slang is seriously infuriating; totes emosh- totes annoying!!

8. If your twenties weren’t a messy voyage of self-discovery you must not have left the house or you could very well be an alien. Failing that you’re just smug and annoying.

9. Going on big nights out have been replaced by throwing dinner parties. Tikka masala bite, anyone?

10. For the first time it feels like a huge chunk of your life has passed.

11. For the first time you have witnessed people go from being young to looking very old in your own lifetime.

12. This life thing really isn’t going to go on forever. You actually don’t have all the time in the world.

13. You have a much better understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, what’s right for you and what isn’t.

14. Adopting the latest fashion trends leaves you looking a bit, well let’s face it, desperate.

15. Skinny jeans are seriously uncomfortable and should only be worn by people with the swagger to pull them off.

16. Most pop song lyrics are so overtly sexual and only relatable for porn stars in heat. (No offence to porn stars in heat, we all deserve to have our voices heard).

17. The rest are way too sassy and only relatable for power drag queens. (Again no offence power- drag queens).

18. The music from your era really was so much better- yes I realise uttering that phrase makes me officially old but I’m standing by it.

19. A few missed bill payments and credit card withdrawals have come back to haunt you in the form of a shit credit rating. Oh fuck I will be banished to flat-sharing land for the rest of time!

20. Your parents start to look old and tired and you start to realise they won’t always be around.

21. If you didn’t before, you begin to understand why people want kids.

22. You start to realise everybody is wearing a social mask no matter how confident or self-assured they may appear.

23. You begin to come to terms with the fact that certain, long-held dreams aren’t going to come true. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

24. The best moments were the simplest and least premeditated.

24 Nobody gets a happy ending. Life is never-ending process of change and re-adjustment.

25 Jesus died when he was 33. You feel like such an under-achiever in comparison.

26. None of it was personal.

27. What was trendy and cool in your childhood is now retro and for sale in your local vintage store.

28. You have to suppress the urge to ask baristas and bar staff to turn down that ‘noisy racket’.

29. You’ve had a solid few years of real life experience but you’re still young-ish. You’re in a better position to get things right than ever before.

30. Your thirties are going to be your best decade yet!!!!

When Adele arrived on the scene in 2008, it was blatantly clear that the girl with the extraordinarily soulful voice, which belied her tender age, was destined for great things. Even this straight- up pop aficionado could see that she really had the goods, and in spades.

But who could have predicted that Tottenham’s most famous ex- resident would achieve such stratospheric, slam-dunk, hit the ball out the ballpark kind of success?

Just in-case you’re on some sort of self- imposed media detox, let me remind you that last month Adele broke the record for the fastest selling album of all time in the UK and US- yes you read that correctly, OF ALL TIME!! In an industry just about standing on its’ last arthritic leg, where only a very small handful of artists even still sell albums, the enormity of this achievement cannot be overstated.

Whilst I’m a huge fan of her music- I regularly sing (murder) Someone Like You at the Tuesday night karaoke down my local. And whose music is better suited to an impromptu sing song on the night bus home – the main reason I can’t help but fanboy her, is her unwillingness to subscribe to music industry protocol, her unflinching sense of self and the sound functioning of her bullshit detector.

You see, Adele is the anti- popstar. She has torn up the proverbial superstar instruction manual and has turned the star making machine on its’ head. And in doing so she has completely wiped the floor with well, let’s face it, everyone in the music industry.

1. Adele is a girl after my own heart. She isn’t one for the proper, bland and PR-friendly answer (Beyonce is the worst offender). Any media training she must have received has completely gone over her head.

2. Everyone is aware of her flat out refusal to conform to the music industry’s pressure for specific body types. “I don’t want to be some skinny mini with my tits out,” she has said in the past. You tell ‘em, missus!

3. Adele is a squillionaire but she’s refrained from making any desperate bids to squeeze out every last penny from her stardom, unlike some others -no names (Rihanna, Beyonce, Ashton Kutcher et al spring to mind). In 2013, Adele walked away from a 12 million, 4 year advertising contract from Loreal.”I think it’s shameful when you sell out. I don’t want to be tainted or haunted.” My sources tell me that upon hearing the news Katy Perry cried into her bag of Popchips.

4. Anybody else would have capitalised on the huge success of an album like 21, by launching a mammoth world-wide tour. Instead Adele decided to give it a miss and forgo a multi-million pound payday, because in her own words; “she doesn’t like touring”. Right so.

5. That incredible infectious cockney cackle.

6. When her son was born, there was no official announcement or accompanying photoshoot for weekly glossy/trash mag. Other celebrities look on with their mouths agape at this missed PR opportunity.

7. No gimmicks or desperate bids for attention. After years and years of media manipulation and album campaigns which resemble a level of planning normally reserved for military operations, Adele relies on good old fashioned quality and artistry.

8. She barely updates her Twitter account. Such a contrast from other needy popstar desperados, who like to inform us every-time they go for a toilet break.

9. Adele achieved this gargantuan success without the backing of some major multinational record company behemoth. She is signed to small independent label, XL recordings (except for in the States, where she’s signed with Sony- look nobody’s perfect)!

10. Oh and she’s had some top tunes as-well.

Adele - queen of heartbreak, saviour of the music industry and all round top bird. Ms Atkins, I salute you.

*I’m sure I could have thought of far more but ten seems like a nice, even, non-anxiety inducing number.